Friday, October 12, 2007

A referral in our LID JULY07 group!

10.12.07--As impossible as that sounds--yes--that's right. One of the families in our group got a referral of a little girl on Monday--pictures of her were posted on their blog today! She's gorgeous. They added their name to a Special Needs list wit their agency in March of 2007 as they began the paper chase and expected the wait to be at least a year--but instead they got a referral to their little girl in about 7 months. She has a corrected heart condition, and possibly a couple other things to be corrected once she gets home. But otherwise--she's perfect! She's in foster care in China (this is soo good) and they call her "Si Si". How sweet is that! If you want to see her and read more here is their blog address--her mom tells her story better than I could ever do-- I am so happy for them.

They are especially special to me as they have the same DTC (Dossier to China ) date (7.13.07) and the same (LID) Log-in Date as WE HAVE. I knew there was something special about that day! Maybe this is a sign that we too are in for a n un expected surprise. Who knows--God knows--his timing is perfect.

Made my day!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Will this journey be about just the journey....

10.9.07:...and not the destination? Sometimes (especially when I think about the 3-year wait and how old we will be 3-years from now) that it really is about the journey--and not the destination (our little girl). I feel like the fact that we are on the list "waiting" is like a dream come true. Is it that this is God's way of saying "your dream is still alive"? Is it true we WILL get a little one in the end? Or will it all fall apart before we get to her? Ah....but it's still possible....I just might be a MOM someday--and my daughter is from China. That's the hope, that I savor...the days of wanting to be a MOM and seeing everyone else become mom's are over and now I'm still wanting to be a MOM and waiting to hold my little girl. That's a miracle in itself. This little blonde haired, green eyed little girl, that whenever asked what she'd be when she grew up replied, 'I want to be a mom" is now 47 years old, and that dream should be all but GONE. But you my sweet one--keep this dream alive. It's a dream I've had for what seems a thousand years, it's a yearning that never goes away, it's a long, long road to you. If this is not the path--some day, some path, some where we will meet. And we will both know it was meant to be. God placed this desire to adopt on my heart at 13--that's 34 years ago, it's never died, has always been there and oh my GOD, it still very possibly could happen. And the thought of that moment--makes my heart swell and my eyes weep with joy. Is it really real? Will I really become a "mom"?

Thursday, October 4, 2007

the most adorable thing...

10.4.07: ...arrived in the mail today! It's a little buddy blanket--and it's sooo amazingly soft! I've seen these at the showers I've gone to--I actually think my friend Kelly just got for her shower. I loved it and thought to myself--how adorable i need one of those! Well now I have one--can you believe it! I wish I knew who sent it ('s a secret pal)...if you're reading my blog--THANK-YOU Secret Pal, it's so special. It's her very first gift--and as I un-wrapped it I immediately got teary-eyed as I could see her tender little fingers wrapped around it. I'm thinking this is going to China to give her when we meet her. It's so perfect. Oddly enough--years ago when we first started to think about our adoption journey--I bought a little rabbit rattle, that looked just like this one. Yet another God's Wink. It was so sweet--i had to take photos of it to share--everything about it perfect.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Dying Professor's Last Lecture

Please watch this video--it's powerful, inspiring and simply amazing. I made my comments and feeling and of course rambling thoughts in the post below it.

On Writing on Walls, and REALLY wanting your dreams

This is the most profound video. I was just this evening feeling like there were "lots" of brick walls popping up on my dreams. Those in the adoption community know what I mean, as well as many other things I've had to really fight for this year. Is it ironic or another God's Wink that for the first time in my life--someone said I was "tenacious". It was my big brother. I was so moved by that word used as a discription of me. So, isn't it ironic, or is another "God's Wink" moment--that I should run across this video NOW, at this moment in my life. It's as if he was speaking to me directly. He even speaks of painting formulas on the wall, AND his parents let him! Funny thing is--I had a wall in my room too--that was my creative wall. I would create different art for it on a regular basis. By the time we sold the farm house there must have been a easily thousands of staple holes, marks where the tape pulled the paint off the wall and nail holes. But MY PARENTS LET ME! I have some of my fondest memories of doing this--making it mind--making a statement with this wall of MINE. I remember one time I even made a whole wall that was all about President Nixon--it was during the election year. I was politically aware--even back then. And still am today. Another one was about "not using drugs and how bad they are for you--my dad was a policeman. But it was my wall! I shared the room with my sister and two brothers, and even they couldn't touch it--it was off limits. (Just a side note--We actually would draw chalk lines in the carpet to divide the room into 4 sections--so we each had our own area. My parents let us do that too! Sometimes we'd be mad at each other and insist the one we were mad at had to get in and out of the room without touching anyone elses part. Hmmmm...that was a challenge. Anyway--I'm off track, that memory just flooded my head. Sorry. This professor talks about brick walls having a purpose--that they are there to see if challenge us to see if we REALLY WANT IT BAD ENOUGH! He says that the brick walls are also to keep the OTHER people out! I feel sooo much this way about our little girl in China. I've often said, I feel like (according to my understanding of the numbers of applications and the whole process over the last couple years) as if there were many, many thousands of families running towards China to adopt a little girl, all for various reasons, and the walls that have been thrown up with the wait and the uncertainty, and everything else has filtered that number down to a few thousand families that REALLY WANT IT--and I am so honored and proud that we have made it this far. Ironically enough--I found this video on a blog of a family that I assume has been waiting a very long time--there is no LID date on their site--but if it's anything like the others that got referrals this week--their wait was over 2 years! They were told 6 months when they started the process! THEY REALLY WANTED THIS DREAM. And they got a little BOY! First one I've seen a referral for--how special is that. I hope you were as inspired as I was! One final thought--I couldn't help but wonder--why did God take him so early in his life? But a my mom always says "God doesn't want any weeds in his garden". It's a must see--infact, I'm going to watch it one more time--and then go to bed and DREAM. This magic carpet ride truly is magical in all it's crazy turns.

the Great Gift-Swap!

10.3.07: It’s been a while since I posted. Since my last post—life has been so hectic. But I wanted to share about a neat little thing our JULY/AUGUST LID group is doing. To help pass the time—and lend a bit of non-online technology—support to our group, we started what’s called a group swap. Kind of like a secret Santa. Our first swap was this week—little packages were dropped in the mail on Monday and will be arriving soon. There is a theme each round and the rounds are only every quarter for now and will get more frequent as our wait comes to a close. As I was putting mine together—I was reminded it’s not the $ spent but the personal nature of each gift and it’s meaning that truly is the BEST part. Frankly, it was a bit hard to pick a gift for someone I’m just getting to know. I like my gifts to all be meaningful and useful at the same time. That’s the practical side of me. Since I know my secret swap person reads my blog—I won’t tell you what I purchased. But what I will tell you—is as I started to wrap it up and get it ready for the mail I realized, that was the best part! I was imagining her receiving the gift in the mailbox and opening it with curiosity and excitement and wanting her to get a little piece of my heart in doing so. So, I put my little touches to the package and off it went to the mailbox. Who knew I would experience such a neat community of women—as a result of a journey to make a family. A certain Blessing!